Miami Shores is the closest thing Miami-Dade has to Mayberry, and the Barber Room, a classic old-timey men's groomer, is to the Shores what Floyd the Barber's haircuttery was to the fictional North Carolina hamlet of yore. Owner Eddie Montalvo has been cutting hair since he was 14 and leads a tight-knit crew of barbers who stand ready to shape up fades, tame unruly beards, and offer their haircutting, hot-towel shaves, and scalp treatments to the public seven days a week. Even bald dudes are welcome here — the Barber Room offers free hair replacement consultations with procedures starting at $400.

Ivanka Trump and Sofía Vergara walk into a blow-dry bar. It's not the opening line to a joke but LAHH Salon in Surfside, which caters to celebrities and locals alike. The salon, which is stocked with Oribe and Davines products, offers wash and blow-dry services, haircuts, keratin treatments, and hair extensions. Unlike typical blow-dry bars, LAHH also offers unparalleled color services, including root touch-ups, color correction, balayage, and highlights. In other words, no matter which stylist's chair you land in, there's no bad seat in the house.

During her more than 20 years of experience, aesthetician Sharese Logan has treated some of the most recognized faces in town, including Shakira and more than one Miami Heat basketball player. Whereas some aestheticians slap products on your face, try to upsell you, and don't deign to remove a single blackhead from your clogged nose pores, Logan customizes facials based on the client's needs. No matter your skin type, when you put your face in her expert hands, you're sure to leave with a glow.

No one likes to watch paint dry on their fingernails and toenails. Fortunately, the folks at Bon Bonite Nail Bar & Wax can get you in and out of their Edgewater salon in under an hour. It's not that they're cutting any square-shaped nail corners. They're just really efficient. The nail technicians sit side by side, provide color recommendations, and bring you coffee. The menu of services includes gel manicures and pedicures, acrylics, and trendy aprés nails, but it's the regular ol' mani/pedi price of $19.99 that justifies biweekly returns.

The rules at Oriental Massage & Spa are simple: Lie facedown on the table, and a massage therapist will defy physics to bend your body, mind, and soul back into shape in a session that lasts from 30 to 120 minutes. The massage therapists here are committed to untangling any knots: They'll use their hands, feet, and elbows — even walk on your back — to get the job done. Choose from a menu of 20 massages, ranging from Thai to shiatsu to Swedish, with aromatherapy included in each one.

Bigger isn't always better, but it is in the case of the 70,000-square-foot Carillon Miami Wellness Resort, said to be the largest spa and wellness center on the East Coast. Choose from a variety of massages, skincare, and body treatments that incorporate Western, Eastern, alternative, and aesthetic techniques. Be sure to arrive early for your appointment and plan to stay late to make the most of the spa amenities before and after — including access to steam rooms, infrared saunas, a hydrotherapy circuit, the oceanfront cabana pool, and a grownups-only saltwater pool on the rooftop.

If the dingy, dimly lit tattoo shops on Washington Avenue are the problem, the bright and welcoming Easy Peasy studio on the Upper Eastside is the solution. The artists, who are mostly queer, gender-nonconforming, and/or BIPOC, take pride in their epidermal masterpieces. Owner Julie Frances (@midnight_moonlighttt on Instagram) is transparent about what the artists earn, the commission she makes, and sincerely promises "reasonable pricing." Peruse previous works and contact the artists directly to book via the shop's Instagram page — "all skin tones," "all genders," and "all bodies" are welcome.

No matter where her clients fall on the meek-to-assuredness spectrum, Sindy Perez is determined to boost their self-confidence with every boudoir photography session at her Earth and Honey studio. Sage is burned to welcome each new visitor into Perez's light-filled loft, where a sign reads, "No risk, no magic." Each session includes hair, makeup, and two hours of sensual photography with outfit changes. A former model, Perez helps clients with provocative yet natural poses while she flits about capturing the sultry scenes. Afterward, Perez shares the images and helps edit and retouch selections. With sessions starting at $349 (prints and albums cost extra), the price of self-confidence may seem steep, but you're worth it.

Online shopping nearly killed the brick-and-mortar adult goodies industry. A department store-sized adult store like Playthings has survived thanks to its approachable, informed, and non-judgmental staff. It's a one-stop shop for titillating lingerie, vibrators, lubrication, bondage ropes, chastity belts, handcuffs, nipple clamps, whips — you name it. Customers can even open two toys at a time to compare before purchasing. The store is stocked with dancer gear, including clear platform heels and poles, neon-hued and barely there rave outfits, and novelty items, including gift bags that read "#Fuckable." Note to the bashful: Playthings offers free shipping on orders over $50.

Looking for a living creature to put its survival in your hands? Consider one of the oxygen-excreting plants at Sunset Nursery. Staff at the lush garden center just west of the turnpike aren't merely knowledgeable about maintenance. They're pumped to find good homes for their green-leaved friends: rare philodendrons, fascinating bonsai arrangements, plump succulents, and a crayon box worth of colorful orchid varieties. You'll never have to worry about them peeing on the dining room rug — just make sure to utilize an appropriate outdoor plot or patch of windowsill and a watering schedule.