Comfort is important, especially when a person has decided to, er, marry iguanas. Air-conditioning, dim lights, an inviting couch, and a good sound system should be on any lizard officiant's checklist, and the Ground Miami checks all these boxes. If waiting in line to get in feels dicey, rest assured that the mild panic of being surrounded by loud, intoxicated people is worth it. Once you're inside, there's typically some sort of niche show going on. Whether eyebrow-raising local musicians or far-out international DJs, these acts encourage the patron to achieve a higher plane of existence to achieve optimal appreciation. There's also a bar, but it's the cute little snack counter called Space Odyssey that lures us in via the gravitational pull of savory spinach-and-cheese empanadas.

Bumper-to-bumper traffic, never-ending construction, and a blatant disregard for turn signals are the name of the Miami driving game. What if there were another way? Thanks to Brightline, the "higher-speed" train with stops in downtown Miami, Aventura, Fort Lauderdale, Boca Raton, and West Palm Beach, it's easier than ever to dash around the tri-county area. Now that the privately owned rail line has extended service to Orlando, it's possible to head to Disney in under three hours — a feat no driver could duplicate without a radar detector. Brightline's appeal is the journey itself: no traffic, no GPS, no worries.

Variety is the spice of life and people-watching. There is arguably nowhere else on the planet where one lone individual can witness such an exceptional smorgasbord of humanity as it does along the strip of South Beach that forms the eastern border of Ocean Drive from Fourth Street to 14th Street. Spend a few hours lounging on a bench, and you'll no doubt encounter the overly buff taking advantage of muscle beach, the overly agile tending to the volleyball courts, the overly sunburned running to the nearest CVS for aloe vera, and the overly intoxicated waddling out of Wet Willie's. It's in these moments that one can appreciate the true diversity of our species. Early morning people-watching sessions might motivate you to renew your gym membership. As the day matures, you'll encounter a more debauched crowd that'll remind your liver that things could always be worse. Even the staunchest misanthropes can, at the very least, gaze beyond the human catwalk that is the winding Lummus Park path to admire the art-deco masterpieces to the west or our dear Atlantic coast to the east.